Zen…

“I put it to you that your husband is a thief.”

You put it to… scoffs.

In many cases, havocs would be wreaked. Hands would be thrown. Or at least, there would be an altercation. Even though it’s a court hearing, the statement was intensely irritating.

I could still recall my mum’s facial expression. She kept a complete poker face. The silent court awaited her loud response.

“No. He’s not.” In a firm voice, with a twitch on her lips.

Everyone heaved a sigh of relief, as though they’d anticipated something worse. Maybe a screaming voice or an outright cry. I saw the Judge lean in his chair. The prosecution attorney couldn’t hide the sting of disappointment plastered on his face, followed by the crumbs of sweat. He had a whole speech prepared, he was confident he could shake this woman in court, but nothing could have prepared him for the shame and defeat his face had worn that morning.

We’re easily triggered to react in an aggressive and totally unexpected ways when something sensitive is mentioned to our ears. Our heart beats quicken, tears in some cases cloud our head with anger and spite. Then we start acting out – shout on top of our voices, cry outrightly, throw hands. As the cases may be.

At that moment, the other person has got the upper hand. As cliché as it may sound, this person may have got you exactly where he or she needed you.

Sometimes when people can’t figure how to control us or have an edge against us, they try to test our temperaments. So they say or do something to rattle us or at least see how we would react.

John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, in his law of connection said – you must get to the heart before you can get to the head.

The people who have mastered the art of self control use that knowledge to either manipulate others or prevent themselves from being manipulated.

I think we should practice taking deep breaths often and on. If we can learn to regulate our heart beats, we can most likely control our emotions.

So the question is,

What do you do when get angry? Let’s start there.