Zen…

self-sabotage is when someone knowingly or unknowingly undermines their own efforts or success. it’s like shooting yourself in the foot, preventing yourself from reaching goals or experiencing happiness due to negative behaviors, thoughts, or actions.

avoiding self-sabotage often involves cultivating self-awareness and implementing strategies to counteract negative patterns.

here are some tips:

recognize situations, thoughts, or feelings that lead to self-sabotage.

identifying/recognizing triggers involves paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in various situations. start by keeping a journal to track moments when you feel anxious, stressed, or inclined to self-sabotage. notice any patterns or common themes that emerge.

additionally, reflecting on past instances of self-sabotage can help you identify triggers more effectively. look for recurring thoughts, beliefs, or external factors that seem to precede self-sabotaging behavior.

practice reframing negative self-talk into more positive or realistic statements.

this is not as simple/cliche as instead of saying “i am ugly. nobody likes me” you say “i am fearfully and wonderfully made”

it takes a little more effort:

to challenge negative thoughts, question their validity by seeking evidence and considering alternative explanations. then replace them with more balanced perspectives and affirmations to cultivate a healthier mindset

here’s an example:

negative thought: “I’ll never succeed in this project; I always mess things up.

challenge: Is there evidence to support this belief? remember past successes and skills you possess that can contribute to this project.

consider that setbacks are a normal part of learning and growth.

reframe: “while I’ve faced challenges before, I’ve also overcome them and achieved success. I have the skills and resources to tackle this project effectively.”

reframing is giving yourself (the inner speaker/ information deliverer) room to maneuver or a chance to respond to the objection without admitting defeat.

it’s like changing the way we’re talking about something or ourselves in order to be able to address the issue (inner conflict in this context) without saying yeah you’re right you’re an asshole.

whenever you reframe a discussion; you’re not becoming a politician and just talking about what you wanted to talk about. you’re simply addressing the issue in a different way at a different level because you always have to come back to what the challenge or question was about

the third tip is break goals into smaller, achievable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

fourth tip: treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing setbacks.

fifth: share your struggles with trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can offer perspective and encouragement.

Develop Healthy Habits: prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep.

Create Accountability: Share your goals with others and ask for their support in keeping you accountable.

Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories to maintain motivation and momentum.

Stay Present: Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the future.

Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing to reduce stress and increase self-awareness.

I hope these tips help.

For more insights on what self sabotage looks like, check out this episode on the topic on zenbehavior podcast:

Here

Love you,

Zen