Zen…

 

“I love you… very much”

He touched her arm.

Lydia withdrew  from him. She left his bed and walked to the window.

She took a deep breath with her eyes closed, she raked hands through her hair.

Richard frowned and followed her. He made her face him.

“What are you thinking about?”

She tried to walk away. He held her still.

“What now? What are we?”

His eyes bore into her soul, it made her panic. She wasn’t sure of the answer to his questions.

“Talk to me” he slowly squeezed her shoulders not leaving her gaze. It sent cold shivers to her skin.

She bit her lips and nodded “Friends. Close friends”

He scoffed and turned his back.

“Just friends? Is that all I am to you? All these times, with everything we’ve been through… I’m only a friend?”

He faced her again. His eyes hurt.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for me. That you never loved me”

Lydia swallowed hard.

Richard touched her cheeks.

“Where did I go wrong? Was it the sex? The kiss? Did I say something wrong? Or maybe I’m not caring enough…”

“I’m getting married”

Lydia tried to hold back her tears.

Richard furrowed his brows and staggered back. “What?”

“That’s what’s wrong Richy, in less than 2 months, I’ll be someone’s wife. I love you so much…”

she paused sniffed and continued

“I tried to avoid you, to get you to hate me, to push you away.”

Richy hurried and hugged her tight. He stopped and looked into her eyes.

“We can still do this. We can…”

He could see the doubts in her eyes.

“It’s not that easy Richy” she shook her head and started picking her things.

Richard watched her and swallowed hard.

“What’s he like? Filthy rich? More handsome? Or maybe better in bed…”

Lydia picked her bag and turned.

“You don’t have to say all that… you certainly know how terrible I feel right now. I’m sorry I don’t de…”

“No! Don’t you dare… don’t you dare give me that crap about you not deserving me”

His eyes wet. He steadied himself trying his best to not move, cause he’d be forced to stop her.

She looked really tired. He could tell a lot was going on in her head.

“So I was just some guy you met. We clicked, had plenty of sex, got close to knowing so much about each other and boom you’re getting married.”

“Don’t say that, Richy”

“Why am I just finding out about your wedding. How am I supposed to feel? Huh?”

He gripped her shoulders and pushed her against the wall.

“Happy? Or maybe congratulate you. Oh you’re getting married, am I invited to your wedding? Does your husband know how sweet you are between the sheets? Is he…”

“Stop!” She jerked away from him.

“Blame me all you want okay? I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. To fall in love with you and suddenly plan to marry someone else. I don’t expect you to understand or forgive me…”

She started crying

“I’m sorry.”

Richard  returned to his bed.

“I don’t ever want to see you again”

She nodded and hesitated.

“Take care.”

Richard sat on his bed trying his best not to break down.

Letting her go was the right thing to do. As for how long it’d take to get over her… who knows?