Zen…

Why I’m so obsessed with winning?

Because I keep asking myself, why not?

If you’re not going to win, what else have you got to do?

Every time I want to relent and just relax and not work for what I want or who I want to become,

I try to imagine “what if?”

What if it’s one more prayer, one last phone call, one more text, one more write up, one more sleepless night, one more… is all it’s gonna take for everything to come together?

Then I get back to work.

When I’m not winning or working towards it, I feel empty. I feel like a total failure. A slacker.

I feel Worse than a mediocre… cause I know I’ve got so much to give and I deserve a lot more than I’m getting.

Why should I settle, when I can demand more from life?